The Many Faces of Fear (Except Corbyn, Who’s a Lefty Ninja)

Having watched the Labour leader debate a few weeks ago one thing became obvious – the Labour Party are dangling over shit creek by a thinning rope while a bunch of suits hack away at the life line whilst flinging piles of crap labelled ‘monetarism, you cunts’ at them.

Three of them – Burnham, Kendell and Cooper – were pretty much interchangeable in their ideology.  They all agreed that having left wing principles was a bloody stupid idea, and the sooner this so called ‘working man’s party’ got it’s facts straight and realised that doing a big cak on the poor whilst greasing the palms of shiny suited cunts from the Square Mile who fart money into their own bank balances was the way forward the better the party would be.  After all, who needs an alternative party – the Libs tried that and now they’re wanking for coins in the street.

The reigning philosophy seems to be that the gimp eyed messiah Blair had many years of untrammelled popularity by being a massive sweaty ballsack to the people who traditionally voted Labour, and so the only way to get into power and nab some of that private enterprise for themselves – I mean, the only way to improve the country – is to be as much like Blair as possible, which means being as much like the Tory party as possible.

The constant whine of Labour Lite is about not paying enough attention to the ‘squeezed middle’, but I say “Fuck the squeezed middle.”  There may be a squeezed middle but there’s a ‘floundering poor’ who are drowning, with the foot of the tabloids and the Tory party stamping down on their heads to make sure they don’t get any air.  Nobody seems to give a monkey’s skidmarked Y-fronts for those poor buggers, because there are no votes in it.

The concept of running a country for the good of the country has become redundant.  Elections are fought on where the votes can be garnered rather than a message of unity and social welfare.  A New Feudalism seems to be emerging, where the rich dominate over the policies of those they went to Eton with, whilst the serfs line up outside the food banks and the suicide rate amongst the poor goes up.

The dispiriting thing is the Labour party seem to be buying into this.  Monetarism got them elected last time, and monetarism will be the scabby old bellend they chew on again.

Except for Jeremy Corbyn, who basically told a racist to go fuck himself on the debate (well, he was the only one to speak against the racist, and in my book that means he might as well have dragged the twat across the floor while stamping no his balls with the Boot of Righteousness).  I expect to see the action figure of him released soon, with the special karate chop move which fucks over the ‘free market and fuck the poor’  ideology the other hapless fools in the race are touting.

Joke Corner:

Man A:  Doctor, doctor, my Richard Desmond has no nose.

Doctor:  What a cunt.


Black Is White and Up Is Down

The Human Pob which is Michael ‘Stick My Face To a Window and Watch Me Hang There’ Gove has revealed himself to be a socialist in the true ‘Dennis Skinner’ sense of the word and railed against the injustices in the legal system which prevents the poor and needy getting a fair hearing.  He is quoted as saying, “Since those bastard Tories got in and cut the bloody Legal Aid the average plebscum on the street has been underrepresented in the criminal justice system.  Now that I’m in power I’m going to see a full restitution of legal aid and the reintroduction of public services into the state.  All hail Mighty Zod!”

Only kidding.  What he actually said was a load of flannel involving sticking video links into courtrooms and more guff about giving the Human Rights Act a right good kicking in regards to it’s shiny new Conservative replacement, The British Bill of Rights, which constitutionally will probably mean the ruling party – as long as it’s Tory – can get away with whatever it wants because they’re in power and we’re all plebs.  Vote Tory, kids, because freedom is slavery.

The main thrust of Lord Pob’s comments seems to be about making the judiciary cheaper and more efficient to run.  I imagine this will entail a massive load of cuts, and anything left of a judicial safety net for those who are too destitute to fund their own defence will be flushed down the toilet along with any prevailing human rights knocking about.

Gove then follows on with some trouser guff about the ‘human cost’ of the ‘waste and efficiency’ of the current system.  Now, I might be going out on a limb here, but something tells me Gove is more interested in the ‘waste and efficiency’ aspect, because if the Tories were interested in the ‘human cost’ of anything they wouldn’t be such utter, massive, purple helmeted cockends when it comes to cutting public services.

The galling thing about his ‘switch back and reveal’ press conference is the sheer bullshit of trying to cloud the real issue – cuts – in this veil of well-meaning concern that, hey, okay, yah, he’s really worried about the plebs and the raw deal they’re getting in today’s courts, and what they really need is some cosmetic old shit which will do them no good whatsoever since they don’t have the money to defend themselves with in the first place.

People are let down by lack of legal aid – not because the fucking court rooms don’t have state of the art e-mail or conference call facilities, you befuddled, permanently confused looking clueless novelty anal sex toy.

Mind you, all this is actually written before the announcement and based on a BBC report.  He might actually take down his trousers, start slapping his arse at the cameras, and scream in a high pitched voice “Down with Thatch!!”

Joke Corner:

Man A:  I say, I say, I say, did you hear the one about Richard Desmond donating a million to UKIP?

Man B:  What a cunt.