Lies are the lifeblood of the political establishment, and never more so than when conference season is amongst us. Usually party political conferences are a chance for the faithful to gather in dens of inequity and tell themselves they’re not the perverted, diseased offal of a corrupt and rotting political system. Just last week Tim Farron was boasting about how the Liberal Democrats were on a mighty Teutonic charge back into the mainstream, cleaving a bloody path through the bullet ridden corpses of the old parties with their Panzer tanks of social justice. Next week the Conservatives shall emerge from the sewers to cower from the sun’s rays, delivering the usual old bullshit about how they care about the needy, but the sort of needy who owns a couple of houses and uses private health care. The same old shit in the same old package with the same old ricin flavoured bows tying the propaganda up. As for the New Look Labour Party With Added Beardy Geography Teacher, we’ll have to wait and see.
Lies are the pumping machinery that keeps politics going. Every time some cunt in a grey suit opens his mouth and spills out more hirsute testicles whilst trying to stifle their sniggering it makes me wonder just who is believing this bullshit. In January MORI published a poll which showed that, of those questioned, Politicians are trusted less than estate agents, bankers and journalists, who are down there with Nazi war criminals and Michael Bay. It is said that every time Osborne unzips his trousers a tar-like wave of lies spills forth, predicting a burgeoning economy despite everything else going tits up. Cameron and his Eton-biscuit-game chums seem to be of the opinion that the oft-repeated lies will batter the public into compliance regarding the monkey shines these fuckers keep feeding us. The poor are evil, immigrants will eat you, and your money is safe with us.
The galling reality is that even the politicians themselves don’t believe the tide of shit they shove our way. Some of them, like Blair, enter this messianic state of reality-collapse where black is white and up is down and everything they say is right, but the people in charge of fucking up the lives of the majority have no conviction in their own lies. You can almost see the shrugged shoulders and disinterested looks in their attitudes as they wait out the next five years until that cushy private number comes up. Politics is a stop gap to bigger, more lucrative careers, and our elected leaders know this full well and are more than prepared to kill off sections of the populace to achieve their monetary aims. This can only explain the Conservative party’s attitude to welfare and the public sector.
On the other hand, Corbyn – so far – appears to be reasonably honest. On the one hand he seems straight forward enough, and all those hard right Labour party fifth columnists straight from Tory central rallying against him have a history of being massive dick punchers, but on the other hand, he IS a politician, and politicians are, genetically, lying monkey toss, so we shall see.
Man A: I say, I say, I say, how many nuns does it take to change a lightbulb?
Man B: David Cameron fucked a dead pig.
Well, Cunt Corner has certainly thrown up a rancid collection of gutter sniping thought-lies from the robots in the tabloids, goose stepping their fictional wank around the propaganda straight from Tory Central Office. Saying that, The Mail had a headline this morn (29th Sept) about a failing NHS which didn’t make the cut, as it’s true, so reluctantly I had to leave those cunts out of the running for that one.
The Mail and the Scum have both got it in for Corbyn, as expected – The Scum because they’re Murdoch’s open-arseholed lapdogs begging from treats, waiting expectantly for some antipodean commands right up the jacksey to impregnate their brains with anti-Labour rhetoric, and The Mail because they’re just nasty, feckless, pointless, bin-scraping cuntheads. The Scum and The Sexpress have both chipped in at the migrants – a-fucking-gain – because they’re racist bigots who would chow down on Hitler’s wrinkled cheesy helmet if the opportunity arose.
The anal polyps at The Mail also had a go at charities, tarring all of them with the same feather, because they have blood made out of vitriol and self-loathing. Strangely enough nothing from The Star this week as they’ve mostly been rooting through the bins of Celebrity News for their headlines.
Did you know that journalists from The Sun, The Mail, The Star and The Express spend fifty percent of their waking hours wanking and crying? Fact.
With the Labour party conference in full swing I expect some anti-Corbyn rhetoric from the Press Cunts for the rest of the week, and some major toadying from the tabloids the week after when the Conservative Party take enough time out from fucking dead farmyard animals to congregate in Manchester to flaunt their wealth to the poor and ram pineapples up each other’s sphincters. Come on – you know they do it! They’re fucking Tories, for cunt’s sake!
More light hearted bollocks next week, Cunt Corner chums!