The End Is Nigh – The CC Weekly Reports On Hiatus

What may come as a great relief to many I have to take a break from collating the outpourings of vitriol and trivia from the right wing newspapers to work on my magnum opus of a book which has been four years in the conception, mainly due to slothfulness on my part. But fear not, mortals, for Cunt Corner will return in a brand new and improved way in the future, probably with detailed graphics and all kinds of modern shit to keep people interested.   Mind you, the average readership was only about 12 people, but those 12 people were obviously the top of the evolutionary ladder when it came to handing out an interest in swearing and taking the piss out of tabloids.

To paraphrase Edward R Murrow, These instruments of knowledge can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and even it can inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise, it’s nothing but bigotry with a national voice.  And to further paraphrase Murrow quoting Shakespeare: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.

The concern is that the public continue to maintain a level of approbation for the kind of news the right wing tabloids present to us. Sometimes these newspapers are used to stick pins in the mighty, but more often than not they’re used to manipulate common feeling against the outsider.  It’s used to close the doors to sensible debate around social issues, and reduce these debates to banner headlines which appeal to the primitive instincts.  The outsiders are battering the barricades down, so the common story goes if you read The Mail, The Express, The Star or The Sun.

As an example there are two headlines printed today (Tuesday 12th April 2016) which stood out for me.


One was the Star, berating a small child who appeared on Britain’s Got Talent, for being a member of a stage school.  The other was The Express, backing up David Cameron’s tax status by promoting his words that offshore wealth creation was a good thing.  Both are endemic of British tabloids.  Bullying a child nationally is not headline material, and backing up the Prime Minister when his tax avoidance status is still under question is nothing more than toadying of the highest degree.

The tabloids reflect a social status exemplified by the politicians who pretend to run our country. Beat down on the poor and laud the rich and trivial.  There is a great debate to be had about whether The Mail, The Sun, et al are merely reflections of the society around them or band leaders at the head of the mob, but that’s for another day.  As I’ve been noting down the headlines week after week the over-riding voice has been one of fear and condemnation.  Government approved propaganda backed up by private interests from the tabloid proprietors.  But has the news industry in general been anything but bite sized trivia in a small and comfortable format ready to be discarded for the next piece of showbiz?  Is it merely part of the entertainment fabric of our lives?

It’s easy to lament the passing of hard news, but our sources are diverse in the modern age. The paper and television are only a small faction against the wealth of material we can access online.  However, online news is only as good as the integrity of the journalists who maintain it, and with dwindling finances available for a well-researched expose this can lead to the dissolution of credible journalistic resources and the commoditization of the national debate.

With this in mind, and whilst the CC takes a break, listed below are some of the news sources which stand out from the crowd.

Normal service will be resumed soon.

Good night… and big fannies.


Look At The Shiny Keys, Paupscum!! – CC Headlines 28th March 2016 to 3rd April 2016

A sea change in the overall tradition of our right wing headline writers this week as the world of showbiz got more of a look-in than is usual.  So, come with me, weary traveller, as we launch once more into the world of hairy testicles!

MONDAY saw not a lot going on in the frothing-spinny-eyed-right-wing-Cuntathon that is our daily newspapers, leaving The Star to sneak in with some old toss about Ant and Dec.  Obviously no news out there, so some twat at The Star thought they’d watch TV and just write what they saw.  Unless it’s a plug for whatever abysmal shit the cheeky scamps are squatting out these days.

TUESDAY saw the old stalwart The Bastard Bollocks Shitpants Wankbiscuit Mail chip in with some utter shit about Them Foreigns, crime and the EU, thus earning a Cunt Point for both their anti-EU stance and racism with the concept that all Them Foreigns are crims.  I reckon they’ve got a piccie of Hitler above their toilet, so they can goosestep on the lavvy whilst they squeeze another headline out of their arses.  The Sun came up with some showbiz cock concerning Vernon Kay and a picture of a large breasted lady, which was definitely not an excuse to print some bikini shots and give the white van drivers of the UK a chance to wank themselves into a coma.

WEDNESDAY and it’s shit biscuit time ahoy, as The Express print some unbelievably racist toss about Them Gypsies being given a palace by some loony council because of Uman Roights or some such cunt like that.  Fucking bollocks, of course, but that never stopped the UKs version of Der Sturmer printing their usual old cock which they try and pass off as news.  The Daily Balls try and top them with some anti-migrant shit, but The Cuntspress is way ahead of them in outrageous bigotry.  The Star and The Metro take our minds off the bad things in life with some fluffy media shit.

THURSDAY.  Only one from the Star today.  Something to do with Coronation Street.  The editor must have fallen asleep in front of the Teev again.

FRIDAY and The Sun and the Star hoik up the media fluff with some cunt about bastard shit bollocks arsehole knobs – or ‘celebs’ as other people call them.  But The Express have got straight in there with the racist todge, as they link migrants with the EU and the NHS overspend.  Fuck me, they must have to jump through some logical hoops to spunk out this soggy sock full of mind-jism, as Hemingway once wrote.

SUNDAY.  Nothing for Sat as Dacre, Desmond, et al were too busy stomping kittens or attending an NF rally to come up with some old racists toss, but The Mail up for it by going, “Foreign aid is horrid and smells of wee and could be used to help loads and loads of people in the UK and they look like poo and foreigns once stole my matches just because I tried to set fire to their kids.”  And so do The Star, this time blaming legal aid.99

So where does that leave the Cunt Counter.  Well, regular readers of this column will be completely shitting bricks of surprise to find out that – fuck me ragged – the papes are going bonkers about the EU, closely followed by their anti-migrant stance. However, the ‘media fluff’ section has taken a boost due to most of the papers thinking news is for squares, man, and they should be reporting on the fun stuff like celebrities knobbing page three girls and blah blah blah.

For the last few weeks it’s been a neck and neck race between The Mail and The Express about who can be the biggest cunt paper, but The Mail have started nudging ahead in an unprecedented series of wanky headlines.  Well done, you fucking useless shower of manky old racist shits!

16_03_28 - 16_04_03 - headlinesCC – Stats – 2016