What with the world on the brink of nuclear bonkers-ness due to the insanity of a couple of short, round cretins, The Times give us the sort of headline we’d expect at this juncture.
We have Trump promising ‘fire and fury’ and now, in latest development (at the time of writing before the world gets turned into ash), we have Jong-un Kim retaliating by saying he’s going to lob a nuke at Guam, so what better news source can we turn too than The Daily Telegraph, as they hit us with up to the minute news that, um, stamp duty is ‘killing house sales’.
Hey, no worries, we all know the Torygraph has about 2 journos writing for it these days, now the Barclay Brothers are trying to save cash by firing everyone, so maybe they just put the paper to bed before the news broke.
Instead, let’s turn to the Bastard’s Friend, The Daily Mail. They’ve got a ton of chud monkeys on their payroll. Surely those buggers will have snuck in a headline about ‘BONKERS JONG LOBS TRUMP FURY NUKE BALLS!!’ or something?
Nope. Looks like, despite the looming prospect of mutually assured destruction hanging over the future of civilisation, they’d still rather bang the old bigotry drum and whinge about made-up statistics regarding immigration, such is their want.
Well, with the weight of the national press against the idea of reporting on the end of the world, we can only turn to The Express, with the hope that they’ll OBVIOUSLY come up with the sort of headline which will see Richard Desmond renouncing his knob-end past and receiving the Pulitzer for Best Incisive Headline Into Geo-Global Politics As Seen Through the Eyes of Two Mad Bastards.
Well, yes, who doesn’t like to hear about the weather, eh?
All in all, only The Guardian, Metro, I, and The Times reported on the latest political developments. The rest just ignored it, because – y’know – it’s only international news.
Keep quiet and carry on. And get that Hazmat out from the closet. With Trump and Kim in charge, there’s no telling what the mad fuckers will get up too next.