Archive for the ‘Bloody Poetry!’ Category

TEZ AND JEZ

Posted: May 18, 2017 in Bloody Poetry!, Uncategorized

After a particularly vicious confrontation in the PM’s Question Time

Tez and Jez tried to reconcile their differences in the staff kitchen

Where they fell into a passionate embrace

 

After a night of torrid lovemaking they decided party politics was boring

And decided to team up and form a vigilante ninja squad

Despite neither of them owning a throwing star

 

The staff would be equally divided between Labour and Tory

But there were so many dissenters amongst their crews

It was hard to choose anyone to form their squad

 

The naysayers were crying ‘foul’ at their sudden turn to crime fighting,

The press said they didn’t have to skills to take down the enemy

But when Tez strong armed a mugger in the street they soon changed their tune

 

Jez went one better and took down a drug smuggling ring in Skegness

Although there were rumours that he’d set the whole thing up as a publicity stunt

And Ken Livingstone was seen in a mask around the area

 

It turned out to be a ratings winner, as Superheroes were big at the time

They scrapped the monikers Conservative and Labour and called themselves The Justice League

Although that had to be changed for copyright reasons

 

Due to an unfortunate mix-up in geopolitical events they had to take down Trump

This annoyed Putin, especially since they were now lovers

And Trump had promised him Kansas as a wedding gift

 

It took lengthy negotiations and four rounds of Mad Monkey Kung Fu before they reached an agreement

And the nuclear missiles were put back in their chamber

And Trump and Putin retired to the Caribbean to grow lima beans and breed Chihuahuas.

 

In the end the strain of the Tez and Jez coalition became too much

And it ended on a matter of socialist principles

And who left the toilet seat up

 

They disbanded and returned to their respective parties

But if you watch them closely on the news at PM’s Question Time

You can still catch them gazing fondly at one another

And sighing.