The Corner – 23/03/2018 – The People’s Revolutionary Paper

We’ve officially slipped through the dimension loop, folks, where black is white, dogs are cats, and tabloid papers print anti-government propaganda.

Take the Express, usually the first to nestle gently against the thighs of government whilst having its ears tickled. Their headline is about cuts to public services, principally the police:


In the olden days (yesterday) they’d be crowing the Tory doctrine that cuts were streamlining services and adding quality without the cost, but now they’re printing an interview with the top bod of the Manchester Police saying the Conservative policy of stripping the shite out of the public purse was making it impossible to operate effectively.

And – heavens to Betsy – even The Mule have got in on the action, having a pop at May and her lackeys for having the new passports printed abroad because it’ll save 120 million in the long run, which is facking hilarious when you think about it. So much for Brexit bringing industry back in country:


Okay, at heart these are still the right-wing bullshit machines, with The Express doffing their caps to the power of the police and the Mule getting jingoistic about the UK passport, so not much has changed, but it still amuses me to see these Tory bumlicks getting all Socialist Worker (in a very abstract way) on the governments arse.


The Corner – 20/03/2018 – This Is Old News, Y’Know?

I remember reading about Cambridge Analytica being suspected of dodgy election and data gathering shenanigans donkey’s knobs ago, so it comes as no surprise that one of their top bods has been caught boasting about the whole sorry mess by the combined forces of The New York Times, the Guardian, Channel 4 news, The Beano, and Farmer’s Weekly:



“It sounds a dreadful thing to say, but these are things that don’t necessarily need to be true as long as they’re believed.” This is from Alexandra Nix, their Chief Executive. Sound familiar?

Of course, dodgy shenanigans in political campaigns are as old as time, and CA’s ‘speculative’ confession that they’d honey trap politicos just to help swing an election shouldn’t come as a revelation to anyone.


However, it will be interesting to see how the investigation goes, and how this effects Analytica, and if the company itself is buttressed with so many zlotys that it has no effect at all. Ideally, they’d be taken to the cleaners for their actions, but since data gathering is part and parcel of companies like Facebook and Google, will the disclosure have any effect on any of the companies?

The problem is choice. Facebook is alleged to haven handed over 50 million user’s details to CA for their use, but is there another platform out there which people can use outside of Facebook? And that’s the problem. The company is so vast and institutionalised into everyday life, that apart from a few shame-faced apologises and promises to investigate their own policies concerning data, I can’t see an awful lot happening. For myself, I use Facebook to promote this site (what little traffic it gets), and I can’t see that changing, which shows me to be the hypocrite I am.

In an ideal world, Facebook would re-evaluate its stance on the issue, stop flogging our details to companies hell-bent on propping up right wing ideologies, and we’d all live in a land of rainbows and pies, but considering the history of multi-nationals, I can’t see that happening. After all, Union Carbide still haven’t coughed up necessary compensation for poisoning 500,000 people in Bhopal, and that was back in 1984.

In other news:


Just because the pound coughs and wheezes its way up the stock exchange, does not make this a breakthrough. And why the fuck is it linked to Brexit? The pound goes up and down all the fackin’ time! Still, trust these jingoistic spods to keep tugging that forelock.

The Corner – 15/03/2018 – Comradeski Corbs

We’re back in the seventies again, kids! And we’ve Labour being equated of tugging the Kremlin forelock!


There’ll be Russian tanks in Whitehall before you know it!

The Daily Mail go one better, having their ears bent by their Blairite insiders.


This all goes back to the ‘Corbs was a KGB spy’ routine the tabloids have been dragging out since they realised he chatted to some Czek agent back in the yesteryear, but it gives the poor dears something to put on their front covers now they’ve stopped banging on about how shitty the EU is, how rubbish migrants are, and how the sun shines out of Theresa May’s bottom.

Tomorrow’s headline – Corbyn was Satan stooge!


The Corner – 14/03/2018 – Putin Does Exactly as Expected Shock!

The ultimatum passed for Putin to fess up on the nerve agent poisoning, and in a completely shocking turn of events they’ve done exactly sod all except flick the V’s at Theresa May and called her a bumbag:


The Mail obviously making this as dramatic as they can, because it’s a bit of a non-story as far as ‘shock, horror’ revelations about Putin’s character are concerned. He’s hardly likely to turn around and go, “Yep, guvnor, you’ve got me bang to rights. Oh, by the way, you might want to check behind the sofa for any more dead expats.”

Speaking of delusional entities:


Yay! Everything’s great again because Phillip Hammond has been instructed to tell us so! It’s not like he’s got anything to gain from – oh, hang on a second…


The Corner – 13/03/2018 – Paper Tiger Shakes Tiny Fist

Theresa May’s got onto her pulpit and has issued a decree to Putin – cough up the info on the whole ‘poison’ plot, OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!! Which will be a slight cooling of relations, a few expelled diplomats, and the footie team not going to the World Cup, where they’d inevitably get booted out during the quarter finals anyway.

The tabloids have gone full mouth-froth over the whole debacle, so let’s start with The Express:


They’ve obviously seen too many cop films. I’m not sure if the ’24 Hours to tell us the truth’ bit comes from, but it seems like a needless bit of drama to inject into an already dramatic situation. Reality wise, Putin’s probably laughing into his polonium cocktail at the point, as being threatened by the UK is a bit like being gummed by a dusty old ferret.

The Mail pose the REAL question:


Indeed. How can the UK go to Russia and lose at football again, with such a diplomatic crises hanging over the country? This is obviously the most important point they could collectively drum up. Interesting fact: Daily Mail journos have a half-life of 1,000 years.

And lastly, onto that stalwart of journalistic integrity, The Sun:


Chortle! Guffaw! Chuckle! Nice one, The Sun. We’ve ‘Vlad’ Enough, so, because Putin’s Russian, and Vlad is a Russian name, and… erm… yes. Anyway, The Scum go on to say that May could kick some diplos out, free some oligarchs cash (won’t happen), and pull the RT licence to broadcast within the UK, so that’ll teach them!

More comedy diplomatic chortles tomorrow, readers!

The Corner – 05/03/2018 – Delusion Time

A couple of interesting insights into the right-wing ideology today. First up, we have The Daily Mail, and their news that millions have been told to ration their water due to the big freeze which knackered the UK last week:


Ordinarily, this would seem like bad news, but considering the average readership of The Mail is retired colonels and immigrant-hating pensioners nostalgic for the olden days, this probably comes as good news. “Eeh, I remember when you could buy a house for tuppence and you had to knob a GI to get your hands on a bar of chocolate.” Headlines like this will make them believe they’re living in the 1950s.

And speaking of delusional psychosis:


Someone should tell May that Trump won’t even listen to his own advisors, so what exactly a PM from overseas will do to change his mind is, quite frankly, beyond comprehension. It shows us that reality is not really a concept of the current government, and a bit of limp-sabre rattling will do exactly sod all to affect the state of affairs.

The Corner – 02/03/2018 – What?!

Only one:


That doesn’t even make sense in the loosest way. Fuck off, The Sun.

Also, to every dickhead who says, “Whine, whinge, moan – back in’t olden days it would now eight foot and no one would complain” – 10 people have died, probably more to come if you count pensioners and the homeless, and I’m old enough to remember the old days and remember when they used to shut everything down due to the weather, so fuck off back to Farage Land, you deluded cock robins.