Only a couple this morning, and we start off with a tabloid favourite – shitting yourself because it’s like Mad Max out on the streets!
The Express have gone with ‘Lawless Britain’ because crime is going up, and I’m completely and utterly convinced that the paper will report that this is because of Tory cuts to the police force, cuts to public services, the farming out of the probation service to private contractors, cuts to youth schemes, cuts to programs to help ex-offenders, and cuts to just about anything else which could aid society as a sop to their grand austerity plan. And I’m completely and utterly sure they won’t blame it on feral youth, the poor, and immigrants, like they always fucking do, the feckless, gleaming helmets.
Speaking of dickheads:
For once it’s not the main headline we’re looking at here, but rather the insert line about ‘the drink sodden EU boss sneering at Britain’. If they replaced that with a picture of Nigel Facking Farage I’m sure the byline would read ‘the good honest criticism of our bulldog breed’ or some other jingoistic shite. Basically, it’s a piece about how the EU Commission President likes to sip the turps, but in their world he’s a maniacal pisshead who’s tearing the heads off nuns and eating the St. George to show his hatred for England.
The Express and The Mail – what happens when you give journalism too many blows to the head.